2009 Dodge Journey: : "Only the Young" are "Crying Now"

That's it for the cheesy references to the 1970s rock band Journey. I promise. I'd hate to have the music of those guys forever entwined with the newest crossover from Dodge. Because no matter how cliche Journey, the band, might be, it shouldn't have to share names with this vehicle.

So what could possibly be so bad about this brand new Dodge? I'll start with the exterior.

EXTERIOR
Likes: Aggressive grille, dual tailpipes and chrome 19-inch wheels.
Dislikes: Slab-sided design looks too much like a minivan; Melbourne Green paint.

INTERIOR
Likes: Storage spaces beneath second row floor; nice color scheme of "Pastel Pebble Beige" leather seats; fairly quiet ride, built-in booster seats for older kids, ambient lighting.
Dislikes: Super-cheap materials, unusable glove box; terrible ergonomics, expensive gadgets that were annoying to use; absofreakingly huge blindspots and a mere slit of a rear window; child seat difficult to install; tight leg room in second row of seats; totally ridiculous lack of leg room in third row (photo is of second row, btw. The third is MUCH worse.)

GADGETS
Likes: Handsfree voice recognition is excellent, call clarity on both ends is very good; iPhone pairing easily completed; stereo has USB port that can charge iPhones and iPods and an auxilary jack.
Dislikes: USB port doesn't allow iPod or iPhone connectivity; loading photos onto built-in hard drive is very time consuming and almost pointless; I never figured out how to transfer music from any USB device; ergonomics are not up to par.

DRIVING DYNAMICS
Likes: Smooth sailing over rough roads and rumble strips.
Dislikes: Wallows around city streets just like the SUV it's not supposed to be; fuel mileage (11 mpg!) worse than many Lamborghinis; delayed response from accelerator; brakes worked fine, but pedal sank all the way to the floor with a disturbing wheezing sound every time they were used.

MISCELLANEOUS
Likes: Almost $4,000 in incentives; totally succeeded in not exploding while I was driving it.
Dislikes: $32,000 before incentives for this? Really?

SUMMARY
Don't buy this vehicle. It may look really good on paper, but Dodge should be required to list "Buyer's Remorse" on the Monroney. Instead, if you're looking for a small SUV or crossover, consider the Honda CR-V or Toyota RAV-4. If you really need seating for eight, just suck it up and get a Honda Odyssey. Your back seat passengers and their legs will thank you. Your macho ego will recover.

For a more detailed review, read my fellow Autoblogger Chris Shunk's review of a red Dodge Voyager R/T way back in August.

All photos are © 2009 Chris Tutor.